Last night it was SCREAMING. So at least pain vs PAIN is progress.  It was almost out of nowhere, although I was reminded (pain does that) of the same (lighter) feeling a few weeks back on benching. 

So what happened last night was....I tried to push off 35# dumbbell for benching, and ...nope.  Didn't break off the chest at all.   And it hurt a bit.  So I went down to 25# (which should be easy), and.... yep, I got it up, but it hurt ALOT.  I stopped.

And then I could not raise my arm.

Uh-oh.

Seems I have had a number of updates in the last 2 weeks.  Nothing specific is going on;  just really enjoying myself, happy, fulfilled.  Some moments of 'blech' occasionally interrupt, but I feel as though this is one of the ways I count my blessings.  I talk about them here, and acknowledge it that way.   It also reinforces my contentment. 

It was a good day at the gym today.  We gradually are working back to meet-level weights with the new form (high-bar squat and conventional deadlift).  I miss low-bar and sumo.    But I am gradually improving with these movements, and I know it will make these lifts stronger no matter what style I choose.  And the high-bar does seem like less stress on the lower back (which is weird, because I don't think it's supposed to be. But it could just be because it's so much lighter, still).

140# squat and 155# DL today.   15# and 45# to add, respectively, to hit my July OPA-meet PR.     There was still gas in the tank, so I might be closer than I think!    It would be good to be there by the end of the year.  Then in January I can start to prep for a spring meet.  I won't do a meet until I can add 40# to my meet total.

Road to a 500# total.......  Long and winding.  But sunny and clear!

That was last night.  Black = what was going on in my head.  Red = why this is so different than me 2 years ago....

And I did go to the grocery store, and I did buy fruit.   I am getting the hang of this!

Blech.  I feel crappy.  A little weepy even.  I have just tired myself out.

Granted, I have been pushing a lot of work on the tattoo (my artist is moving, so time is of the essense....) and I would say that the amount of time I have put in over 4 weeks is not exactly what you'd call.... compassionate.   So it's not like I don't know where it's coming from.

Nevertheless,  I have become so used to feeling good that feeling bad just feels.... bad. 

And since I generally share lots of up-side, I thought I'd share this too.   You know, with myself, and my future self. It's not always awesome.

But even so, it's still pretty good.

And it's probably the worst thing that will happen to me all day.  

     I
         am
                   so
                            lucky.

Well, not really.  But the Labour Day weekend always has a 'back to school' feel, even though it's been (ahem!) eons since I was in school.   And because of that, all of those feelings of fresh starts, etc etc. 

But I this year I don't have any yearnings to resolve to anything, per se.  I am eating pretty  balanced.  My life/work balance is good.  I am mostly sticking to what serves me.  And as you can see with Augusts calendar....I am steady at the gym. 

It's a weird and wonderful way to start the 'new' year.