As my training log indicates, I have not really squatted much at all this year. My stomach was just so bad that wasn’t possible. And then three months off for the corrective surgery ... a few days checking movement patterns... and today we finally gave it a try.
Does it count as a barbell squat if there were no plates at all on the bar?
Anyway, it was really frustrating. Everything about it felt foreign. It took a great deal of intent to get everything in some sort of functional form. So it’s time to post!
Why? Not to mope in my frustration. But because I know this will pass. And when it does I can look at this and remember how incredibly tough it was today. The best encouragement that you can take something from tough to doable is that you have done it before.
The chart mostly speaks for itself. But I also told Jerimiah that I'd really like to be a bit brave on a last attempt in 2018. Not that the last on any of these above were guaranteed, but they had been done before a few times.
And we aren't currently setting a date target other than "next year". We'll just work on progress and keep checking in and when it seems within reach, sign up for a meet and to a 3 month (probably) prep cycle.
I said the same last year, but by November was desperate to get signed to a meet to have it firm. I'll try to exercise patience and remember that more meets are added regularly and I won't miss out. Then I can try to be a bit more organic with the planning, which may be helpful given my travel schedule can be hard to have any long term insight into or control over.
HERE WE GO!!!!
Here are my results (in kilograms). I am super proud, super tired and super sore.
#Squat- opened with last year's best for a result of 70, 75, 77.5
#Bench- last year's meet best was 47.5. Today - 50, 55, 57.5
#Deadlift - last year's meet best was 90. Today 95, 100, 105
I will have more to say later, but for now, it's enough. It's plenty.
It's almost here! I knew after last years meet that I'd do it again. And I narrowed it down to a few events in November, and have been prepping for the Apex Summer Showdown since January. And now it's less than 2 weeks out, and I am getting the prep emails and reminders..... it's HERE!
I will have a buddy going to her first meet (Daphne) , which makes it a little more exciting. I'm hardly an old-hand, but having a bit of experience makes me feel like I have something to offer her as she goes on this adventure. It's such a great community, and I have received so much encouragement from it: it's nice to be able to support someone else who's taking it for a spin.
I have (mostly) gotten over the stress of not competing in the same weight class as last year. Maybe a tiny bit sheepish, but nothing that will hold me back from giving it my all, and putting some good numbers forward. .... on which to build my next year worth of progress.
I have quoted Seth Godin (his blog, more specifically) hundreds of times, but none more than this:
I've probably already referenced it in my blog. Sometimes, I am quoting it to try to encourage others to MOVE ALREADY! And sometimes, I have to speak it inwardly to do the same.
This time it's a bit different... it's the convergence of two things.
ONE is this. Last year I set some goals, and posted them here.
Suffice it to say... it's the end of Q1 soon, and I didn't get there. But I did get a lot closer, and while I have this lingering disappointment, I can also remember when setting these targets that they were do-able, but very hard. And yet here I sit, pretty darn close to being able to pull off the squat and bench numbers.
TWO: is this:
I registered for my next meet.
So I haven't reached my goals for Q1, but I registered for a meet anyway.
Well, frankly... I'm perfect. Perfectly ready. Perfect enough. Not enough to win. Not enough to qualify for anything. But that's not why I went last time, and I LOVED IT.
And while there is a little part of me that cries at the thought of being at the bottom, I'm not going to let that stop me from taking hold of the experience. And if I won't let anyone else steal the joy and magic of this discipline from me, I certainly won't do it to myself.
Therefore, no matter what my numbers are; I am perfectly ready.
After firing of a killer back spasm 2 weeks ago, I am back at it. Well, not ALL of it. I did air squats on Saturday. Very light weight on Sunday. A bit heavier, but still light on Monday. And today went back to a regular(ish) load.
Still it's 10# lower than where we left off, so I have lost (arguably) the 2 weeks, plus another week to get back to that weight. First blush that didn't make me happy, but it's a quick head-space adjustment to realize that 3 weeks is really not that much. I had some fear, but really focused on the balance between listening to my body, but also remembering that it sometimes is lazy and lies. So a reasonable weight, and long rests, no rushing. Feels like JUST the thing to get over the nagging apprehension.
I am still going to skip deads on friday (or do block pulls instead). The 3 weeks progress lost is OK, but the crappy week in a back spasm... not really something I want to repeat. And I have a business trip starting Sunday, so that means no real deadlifts for at least another week. Then I should be golden!
As I mentioned in the last post, we're into more volume. Not what most would call high reps (10) but definitely not what I do most of the time. I really noticed the fatigue when training by myself today. While I felt good going in, my performance was not so hot.
Anyway....We do it again this week. And "We'll try for 12 if we can. But it's ok if we can't." ~Jerimiah
And after, I was thinking...how do I know if I can or can't? With the high intensity stuff, it's easy enough to tell. Oversimplifying, but either the weight is going to move, or it's not. But squatting for 10 this past week never felt like I could not drive the weight up. Legs and glutes etc were a-ok. But at the top, getting ready for the next rep was ....I am looking for a word only slightly less emphatic than "excruciating". My heart was pounding, and I wanted to heave out my lungs. And my breakfast.
And then I figured if I have to ask that question (should I go for 2 more, or not), then I guess I should. After all, I know how to bail, and what that feels like, so it'll all be ok.
I texted my little self-talk to Jerimiah.... ( I'm sure he loves that...) and ended with what chrystalized for me only as I typed it.
"Seems like now our sessions are a lot more work and a lot less fear."
And that idea has stuck with me all weekend. I have less fear because of the work we have done. A trust in him, in the process, but most of all in myself. I am going to be ok. I can handle this. And I can only work this hard because I've left fear behind. Well, at least a lot if it. And I did have a lot. :).
It's a virtuous cycle.... I can feel it. And I built it.
My husband ends all of his sessions with Jerimiah by saying "I think he's trying to kill me!". And now I would say the same (tongue in cheek, of course).
We are back to hypertrophy. 10 reps....and my heart felt like it was exploding out of my chest. And it's not that the speed made it cardio; just... whoa. 153 BPM is a lot for me unless I am doing sprints (bike or treadmill), but I officially achieved that squatting. I was so sure that it was more like torture than usual that I checked to see if we had done 10 reps before, and indeed, last hypertrophy cycle we did. A bit less weight, of course, but essentially same deal.
So at least I know I'll get over it quick, since I could not remember and it was just September. :)
I am really tired, but my head feels energetic, so that’s good. And I was a bit nauseous after, actually. And really hungry. And sitting down is basically just a small bend at the hip and then letting go (as my hamstrings are also rather sore, and don’t really want to be holding any weight in a bend).
And yet… still happy. Go figure.
So-so feels at the gym today. I thought we were testing, but we are still working up. Kept missing on depth on the squats. Despite being heavy, it felt good. Just not deep enough.
And failed out at bench. But it was at 115# so I suppose as we get closer to the top, I'm more likely to crap out. I'll try to remember how I felt HERE, and that this is my week of putting it all out it there.
Was at a conference this week. It was a beautiful venue and really also put me into the Christmas spirit.
There was a bit of over indulgence, ... I will spare you the details, but I have had my fill of sushi for a while. A long while. Like... forever. And also, not enough sleep. So too much of one thing, and not enough of another. Just for the record, it does NOT balance out (plus/minus).
But I still felt pretty good in the gym today. We didn't do anything overly difficult, but it was not super light either (a single 150# squat followed by some doubles @ 140# , as well as some paused benching at 95# and 100#).
I have a vacation day tomorrow, so can take a little extra rest in the AM (sleep in til 7 AM!), and don't train until 11 AM. It's Deadlifts, so will be a bit tiring, and I am out with the Mavens tomorrow night, but at least I won't start at a deficit. And there's always the weekend for a little nap. :)