First ever un-spotted 115lbs #benchpress. I’m pretty sure I have never NOT used a spot on anything over 100lbs.
It’s not that I can’t safely move the weight. But I let fear prevent me from trying without a safety net.
I would stand there at the bar, trying to reason with myself that there was no need to be afraid. And even though I knew it was true I could not convince myself. So I would ask for a spot.
Today I tried something different. I figured since I wasn’t going to be able to reason myself into NOT being afraid... I’d just do it no matter how I felt. And the results.... you can see for yourself. I wasted a lot of time trying to reason with the part of my brain just doesn’t reason.
I’m done with that.
The chart mostly speaks for itself. But I also told Jerimiah that I'd really like to be a bit brave on a last attempt in 2018. Not that the last on any of these above were guaranteed, but they had been done before a few times.
And we aren't currently setting a date target other than "next year". We'll just work on progress and keep checking in and when it seems within reach, sign up for a meet and to a 3 month (probably) prep cycle.
I said the same last year, but by November was desperate to get signed to a meet to have it firm. I'll try to exercise patience and remember that more meets are added regularly and I won't miss out. Then I can try to be a bit more organic with the planning, which may be helpful given my travel schedule can be hard to have any long term insight into or control over.
HERE WE GO!!!!
Here are my results (in kilograms). I am super proud, super tired and super sore.
#Squat- opened with last year's best for a result of 70, 75, 77.5
#Bench- last year's meet best was 47.5. Today - 50, 55, 57.5
#Deadlift - last year's meet best was 90. Today 95, 100, 105
I will have more to say later, but for now, it's enough. It's plenty.
Some smart ladies have been telling me the same thing lately: it's coming from multiple places,.... that it's not events that make up your story, but rather it's the narrative that you make of those events. And that is the story of YOU... that makes you who you are.
It's a powerful notion. And I have been practicing. Jessica recently said when we were having our ritual Pho...."It's interesting that you would frame your story that way".... and it was a punch in the gut. She was right. I was undermining an accomplishment by the way I framed it. It took some thinking to figure out why I would do that, but the greater win for me was that now when I tell a story, at least sometimes, I hear Jessica's voice.... "interesting way to frame it", and then I consider whether the story I write serves me. And while being TRUE is the most important, there are ways to be truthful that still lack honour. Everyone has blurted out something ... out of a feeling, perhaps. And for that millisecond it was true, but.... it was not really TRUE. But you've said it... it can't be unsaid. I am practicing writing my story in consideration of this reality. Practicing that requires that I check my initial story to make sure that I am honouring the deeper truth. The text message with Jerimiah, above, is an early example of my new practice.
My life. My story. My choice.
I pulled a belt out of the drawer today because it's cold... and I am back into pants. And lo and behold - look at the number of holes I have shrunk! I guess I need a new belt!
There were quite a few powerlifting posts in my Instagram feed this weekend. And I noticed that it was not the biggest lifts that were the most amazing.... but it was the ones that were a surprise. Not the monster (affectionately!) who squatted well over 700#, but rather the lifter who looked like a 'regular dude' (or dudette) and still pulled, or pushed a relatively big number. That 'wow, I didn't expect that' moment is pretty sweet. I again realize we are so, so much more than what you can see.
I know that for some people, seeing the biggest dudes do the crazy lifts is the only thing that charges them up. But for me, I like the element of surprise.....
I was talking to the Mavens last week about long term goals with powerlifting. And I told them what I am about to tell you. I want to qualify for nationals in 2021. It's a long way away, I know. But I will be in the next age group up, and I figure I can improve at least for 2 more years... (I don't really improve in any great leaps, but I think it's reasonable to make some small gains for at least that long). and then even maintaining, for the year I would be Master Level II, the standards should be do-able.
I think it would be an amazing experience, and if I can't do it by then, well, it's unlikely I'd ever be able to do it. So I am setting the bar (pun intended) for a meet around my 50th birthday with PR #s.
Now I just have to do the work, which I enjoy anyway!
So, that's a bit of an issue. 3kgs over the weight I want to be for the meet in a week. Garth and Jerimiah don't want me to do any cutting ...and to be fair; I should have been a bit more controlled before, but it is what it is and I don't want to abuse myself over it. There's enough going on with a first meet that some compassion is in order as well. There's that theme again.
Anyway, in looking at cutting (not gonna but was ...) there was some stuff that I divited I CAN do that will move me closer without undue pressure. And just cause I won't make it is no reason to give up, either. I am just not ramping up to crazy.
So here's the plan;
Oh, and I went for a run tonight. :)
I am visiting Montreal this week... and went into our local office after a client visit, and Immediately ran into someone I trained on Project Management - in a 3 day session in Oct 2014.
She was like “Woah! Look at you, blah, blah….”. And reminded me that when I trained them, I had talked about adult learning, and how I had just joined a gym and was having to hold someones hand in order to squat, or I’d fall over. I guess I used it as an analogy to some other topic in the sessions.
Anyway, I was 35# heavier then. And probably walking with a bit more swagger now. :) ......And she said … “I guess you figured it out . "
Yeah, I guess I did!
I don't know how that warrants a full post, but it does. I have been like "I feel great. I love gym on Friday. Wow, I feel pumped. blah blah blah ." So.... either I am having a bit of a moment.... or there's something to this Friday thing. It's happened before, so I am going with the latter.