I was talking to the Mavens last week about long term goals with powerlifting.    And I told them what I am about to tell you.   I want to qualify for nationals in 2021.   It's a long way away, I know.  But I will be in the next age group up, and I figure I can improve at least for 2 more years... (I don't really improve in any great leaps, but I think it's reasonable to make some small gains for at least that long).  and then even maintaining, for the year I would be Master Level II, the standards should be do-able. 

I think it would be an amazing experience, and if I can't do it by then, well, it's unlikely I'd ever be able to do it.  So I am setting the bar (pun intended) for a meet around my 50th birthday with PR #s.

Now I just have to do the work, which I enjoy anyway!

That's me.  Talking to my weight.  I have put on a few (ahem) pounds.  Nothing major;  but since I am still wanting to lose a few pounds (10 to go), ... and because I know I have been less than disciplined, ... it's kinda important to call myself on it.

So ... here I go....  now talking to myself:

It's not sneaking up on you.  It's not quiet.  It's not even an IT.  It's YOU, and choices YOU make.  And I applaud you for having some compassion and enjoying that pizza.  And that wine.   And The Keg table bread and butter (all of it).  And the midway at the CNE.  But don't let that be the new habit.  Compassion... and Control.  In balance. Not one or the other.

I restarted the clock on MyFitnessPal today:  and will track from here, fresh. No baggage for the better or the worse. 

Now, I'll go eat some blueberries!

I feel a bit off today.  Just minda .... meh.  

I gymed on my own on Saturday (did with J on the Friday), and it was less than stellar.  I struggled and only did 1 squat before opting to .... not.   Then I did some AMRAP arm stuff that I have done WAY more reps of before.  

Sunday was listless.  Not bad.  Just kinda um, another word for listless, please?    And today: a bit the same.  Melancholy.  I trained, and it was good, but still feel kinda weary.   I have felt SO good for SO long, that it's a bit unsettling, actually.

Maybe I need a bit of a napping weekend, or something.  On the PLUS,... i have Wednesday off as a planned recovery to a (Korn) concert.   So maybe a big sleep in and 2 naps will do the trick.

Stand by....

I usually don't have an interest in sports (other than Formula 1).  A live game of anything is always fun, but I have no drive to watch anything.   Even during the Olympics, I usually will pause for a moment for something like gymnastics (how do they DO that?!) or Ski Jumping (WHY do they do that ?!).... just because it's such an amazing spectacle.

Yet now that I have a sport of my own, I found myself more interested in the Olympics this year.   I watched some of the decathlon coverage, and they talked a lot about it being a competition against your own numbers, and your own fatigue.  I understood. 

This same week, I received my first issue of the IPF Magazine ( http://www.powerlifting-ipf.com/media/ipf-magazine.html -  I doubt the link will work forever , but there you go...)   One of the articles was about the IPFs drive to join the Olympics.  Interesting journey. 

Anyway, from Zero interest in sports, to both watching for fun, and getting a sports magazine subscription in the same week.   Overboard?

Who says struggle is to be sympathized with?  Certainly not Seth Godin.   This one really resonated with me. 

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2016/08/the-lottery-winners-a-secret-of-unhappiness.html

I really do feel fortunate about the struggle in the gym.  It's not crazy or anything (I have seen some others suffering @ the gym..., but I am  not nearly so hard-core).  Nevertheless, unlike some other things in my life, it does not come easy.  It is a struggle.   I have mentioned it to a number of people as a peculiarity that somehow this was was part of it's joy.  But I didn't have better words for it, until now.

Thanks, Seth.

Today a lady and I exchanged the usual casual hellos at the gym as we passed in the changeroom.  "Morning"  she said.  "Have a good day".   I responded in kind, to which she replied:  "For sure. The worst part of my day is now over (pointing to the gym floor), so it's all good."  

The rest is a brain ramble, pretty much just like it actually happened:

• The gym is the WORST part of her day?  That's weird.
• It's the BEST part of my day.
• What's my worst?  Hmmmm
• Well, it's not work, that's pretty good.
• Home is all good.
• So.....

                THERE IS NO WORST PART OF MY DAY!?!?!

How amazing is that?

It took a lot longer than I expected.   I joined the gym nearly 2 years ago...and still have a way to go to "fit".    I have come a long way, though, and looking at the transformation, it still seems like a big accomplishment.   There has never been anything fast or easy about it... Just steady, incremental progress.   
When I think about how many choices I had to make the last two years that added up to this.... The good and the bad.... It's a wonder I made it.  I couldn't of done it without encouragement of an amazing PT who helped me the movements,  manage the progress, and probably most importantly… Have fun (or something close to it ) while doing it.   
The mavens encouraged me too.  I'm lucky to have such good girlfriends.  

And Garth has been amazing.  He's been a cheerleader,  but has also helped managing food, encouraging me to prioritize the gym... And listened to me go on and on about powerlifting.  
But the truth is and I say this without an ounce of either shame or pride.... Mostly this was ME. Of course of course I couldn't have done it without the support mentioned above ...for sure.  But I did the work.  I made those choices.  
Ok; so I take it back.  I AM PROUD. Blessed and proud.