It's almost here!  I knew after last years meet that I'd do it again.  And I narrowed it down to a few events in November, and have been prepping for the Apex Summer Showdown since January. And now it's less than 2 weeks out, and I am getting the prep emails and reminders.....  it's HERE! 
I will have a buddy going to her first meet (Daphne) , which makes it a little more exciting.  I'm hardly an old-hand, but having a bit of experience makes me feel like I have something to offer her as she goes on this adventure. It's such a great community, and I have received so much encouragement from it: it's nice to be able to support someone else who's taking it for a spin.
I have (mostly) gotten over the stress of not competing in the same weight class as last year.  Maybe a tiny bit sheepish, but nothing that will hold me back from giving it my all, and putting some good numbers forward. .... on which to build my next year worth of progress.

... is exactly like this past week.  :)

No drama or anything.  It's been a bit busy.   A bit of extra travel.   A bit of a chest cold.    I also stopped food tracking, because I felt a bit of pressure stacking up.  So I turned on the compassion.   At least I hope it's that and not me slacking. 

I still went to the gym; I figured that while I might have an excuse to be able to do a bit less..... I had no excuse to do less than I was able. 

That was last night.  Black = what was going on in my head.  Red = why this is so different than me 2 years ago....

And I did go to the grocery store, and I did buy fruit.   I am getting the hang of this!

That's me.  Talking to my weight.  I have put on a few (ahem) pounds.  Nothing major;  but since I am still wanting to lose a few pounds (10 to go), ... and because I know I have been less than disciplined, ... it's kinda important to call myself on it.

So ... here I go....  now talking to myself:

It's not sneaking up on you.  It's not quiet.  It's not even an IT.  It's YOU, and choices YOU make.  And I applaud you for having some compassion and enjoying that pizza.  And that wine.   And The Keg table bread and butter (all of it).  And the midway at the CNE.  But don't let that be the new habit.  Compassion... and Control.  In balance. Not one or the other.

I restarted the clock on MyFitnessPal today:  and will track from here, fresh. No baggage for the better or the worse. 

Now, I'll go eat some blueberries!

It took a lot longer than I expected.   I joined the gym nearly 2 years ago...and still have a way to go to "fit".    I have come a long way, though, and looking at the transformation, it still seems like a big accomplishment.   There has never been anything fast or easy about it... Just steady, incremental progress.   
When I think about how many choices I had to make the last two years that added up to this.... The good and the bad.... It's a wonder I made it.  I couldn't of done it without encouragement of an amazing PT who helped me the movements,  manage the progress, and probably most importantly… Have fun (or something close to it ) while doing it.   
The mavens encouraged me too.  I'm lucky to have such good girlfriends.  

And Garth has been amazing.  He's been a cheerleader,  but has also helped managing food, encouraging me to prioritize the gym... And listened to me go on and on about powerlifting.  
But the truth is and I say this without an ounce of either shame or pride.... Mostly this was ME. Of course of course I couldn't have done it without the support mentioned above ...for sure.  But I did the work.  I made those choices.  
Ok; so I take it back.  I AM PROUD. Blessed and proud.

Ate a hot dog today. really looked forward to it. paid for it all afternoon.

Originally posted April 11th.    Since updated to make that SHOUT OUT a BOO!   It's only available in the US. 

Oh well... the idea anyway (setting parameters for what you are looking for nutrient wise, and it will advise options at the restaurant you are near) is a good one. 

They say a calorie is a calorie.    I can't say that really makes sense to me from at least some perspectives.   Maybe if it's about weight loss?  
But I still figure your body handles all sorts of different calories in very different ways.  And some calories come with a wealth of other "good stuff ".
So with that in mind, here is the first swap I making as I head towards my first meet.

Two or three times a week I used to have 7 of these (very delicious, crunchy) chocolate eggs before the gym to give myself a bit of energy.   It was one of the things where I was still focusing on the experience vs the fuel, if I'm honest.
Anyway, that's the (caloric) equivalent of 3 of these figs, which I'll now have instead.
Although perhaps I should ask Garth to bring the rest of the eggs into work, just keep them out of my reach.  :)

I waited to long to sign up for the meet in August.  It's full.  I feel gutted (which is a pretty extreme reaction.  But I guess a good sign, as had I felt relieved I'd question my motivation...)
I have asked Jerimiah for advice;  if I can make a July event in terms of readiness.  I am not worried about some big number; just want to be able to hit my best numbers or close to them for the day.  Right now, I am not regularly doing anything near my 1RM, so that'll take a bit.
And I need to lose more weight to get into the 63kg class, which I think is somewhere around my sweet-spot for day-to-day comfort in my own skin.   Based on my current trajectory, I can be there by July(ish) IF IF IF IF I am a bit more disciplined when I travel (that's those up-ticks.)

I don't know why this pleases me so much, but it does...