The image is from Facebook; a colleague posted this today. It means a lot because it comes from someone who I know has a great and kind heart, who finds inequality ugly and who is not afraid to speak his mind. And saying “there was times when I should have...”, does not come from flaws. We are all flawed. We all sometimes let things go. It simply means you are not going to let fear of acknowledging that reality stop you from calling it out.
And that’s what’s needed. From men. From women. From ME.
I have sometimes been angry over an incident and at the same time cautioned myself against that anger because “it wasn’t SO bad” or “I am just being overly politically correct” or “I use salty language sometimes ....so I guess it’s the same...”. And stewed. And felt that there was no upside to saying anything. Only down. And ended up been as frustrated about the feelings of guilt and worry as I was about the comments that started it.
It’s easier to call it out when I see others up against it. I do that. So why not as often when it’s me? Because I don’t know intent to be bad (he’s alright ...does not mean harm)...I hold back. Because I think of how fortunate we are North America compared other countries...; I hold back.
And while intent is incredibly important to me... I think this is one of those cases where I let it get in the way. Because every time something like this passes unchallenged, an opportunity is missed to move the needle forward. To let someone know that every word is a seed and that those kind can’t have any beneficial harvest. That just because it could be worse does not mean we should not all strive for better. That just because I CAN take it does not mean I SHOULD.
Most progress is incremental. It’s not surprising that someone can look back and go “uh oh”. It is a sign that the needle has moved! If I think about some things that happened early in my career... thankfully I had a manager would not tolerate aggression or offensive talk from our vendors .... it’s hard to imagine those things happen as frequently today here in Canada at least. That progress has happened because of all the times people DID call it out.
So if you think everything is good… I guess it’s OK to ignore all of the noise about #metoo. For one, I feel really glad people like Ken don’t think things are OK. That means there’s hope for #metoo.
Sent from my iPhone
First ever un-spotted 115lbs #benchpress. I’m pretty sure I have never NOT used a spot on anything over 100lbs.
It’s not that I can’t safely move the weight. But I let fear prevent me from trying without a safety net.
I would stand there at the bar, trying to reason with myself that there was no need to be afraid. And even though I knew it was true I could not convince myself. So I would ask for a spot.
Today I tried something different. I figured since I wasn’t going to be able to reason myself into NOT being afraid... I’d just do it no matter how I felt. And the results.... you can see for yourself. I wasted a lot of time trying to reason with the part of my brain just doesn’t reason.
I’m done with that.
....and I shouldn't of left you (left you).... .But I actually HAVE had a dope beat to step to.
Forgive the Aaliyah reference....but it popped right outta my head.
Anyway, I have not stopped writing or thinking.... it's just taken a different form in the last bit. Some training I was on with work had us doing some prompted journaling, and I have a book that's got me thinking, and a girl that ALWAYS is good for a soul-and-brain-conversation. That's kept my heart and creative spaces pretty occupied. We also have a move on the horizon, so there has been some extra work, which has created extra naps. So time has also been a bit tighter.
But this blog remains my main place to think about my practice, my body and what I have gained and learned on that journey. And there is news there, so... HERE I AM!.
Well, to be honest, there is no news yet. It's just brewing. It's been brewing for 17 months or so since I hit that 100# bench press for the first time. I remember the feeling. 135# is on the horizon. It's been a slow climb. After 100 there was some quick gains, but the last year has been truly one of those turtle vs hare things. Progress has been real. Just super incremental with lots of time between.
And now I am pretty sure that I'll put that plate on in October and have a good solid TNG. So STAY TUNED!