January is coming to a close. Did you keep your resolutions, or the other promises you have made to yourself over the years?  I am trying to cut back on coffee…. And it’s a struggle, so I get it.  But whatever that was; breathing more deeply, not hitting ‘snooze”, eating more greens… It’s “just” a matter of keeping our word.   And most of us would say that we keep our word, no?

A great Keynote was done quite a while ago (you can read the whole paper here – that talks about INTEGRITY, and I particularly was drawn to the idea of a cost-benefit analysis of keeping ones word.  At first blush, it sounds so…. dishonourable.   “Should I keep my word, or not?”   But it’s a practical question we face every day.  The paper points out that the best time to ask this question BEFORE giving ones word.  I can’t improve on what they said, so here is a direct quote. 

“When giving their word, most people do not consider fully what it will take to keep that word.   That is, people do not do a cost/benefit analysis on giving their word.
 
In effect, when giving their word, most people are merely SINCERE (well-meaning) or placating someone, and don’t even think about what it will take to keep their word. This failure to do a cost/benefit analysis on giving one’s word is IRRESPONSIBLE.”
 
Once your/my word is given to others, I already believe most of us put a lot of weight on the cost of not keeping it.  Here is what I hope…..

• I hope we all adopt this concept of figuring out the cost of KEEPING it, BEFORE we give it.   It may not change the outcome, but the intent honours the promise
  
• I hope that we give the same value to promises we make ourselves, as we make to others

So, with that off my chest, I am going to get a glass of water.  Because I already have had my coffee for today....

I have been feeling  off since the 12th.  Not totally horrible, just not well.   Quite a few headaches.  More tired.    I feel great until around mid-day, and then like deaths warmer cousin.  It's likely 'just' fatigue.

But I can't seem to shake it, and a week of going to bed at 8 PM hasn't fixed it, so I am taking a 1/2 day sick day and going to bed.   I am hoping that 3-4 hours of sleep this afternoon and another early night, will fill the energy-bank enough to kick-to-the-curb whatever it is that's getting me under the weather. 

Jerimiah gave me some new routines ("JW") to include in the days I am on my own. It's a nice change-up. I had his "make your arms cry" routine, but it's been a number of months, and (as you may have guessed from the name), is just arms. :)

These 2 new ones (two!) are more diverse, and HARD. It's 45 minutes to get through the 5 different activities, even if I super-set some. So I need to tighten up on the rest between sets a bit (which is do-able) in order to include some cardio in there.

I am pretty happy with it so far, although it's just been a few times. But having something new has given me a little boost in the head space around these sessions, which are typically 2-3 days a week.

I don't know what it will do for actual gains yet, but I have a feeling that it will make a difference.

I am struggling with the weight a bit though. I put a few pounds on at Christmas, and it's sticking around. I started tracking food again yesterday, and we'll see what my intake is, and what kind of deficit I'll want to consider to start heading back down towards by goal weight. It's obvious that it won't be as-is, which I dread a bit. But I also want to shed some fat, so something will have to change, or I just sit in the middle between having my cake and eating it too.

As I mentioned in the last post, we're into more volume. Not what most would call high reps (10) but definitely not what I do most of the time. I really noticed the fatigue when training by myself today. While I felt good going in, my performance was not so hot.

Anyway....We do it again this week. And "We'll try for 12 if we can. But it's ok if we can't." ~Jerimiah

And after, I was thinking...how do I know if I can or can't? With the high intensity stuff, it's easy enough to tell. Oversimplifying, but either the weight is going to move, or it's not. But squatting for 10 this past week never felt like I could not drive the weight up. Legs and glutes etc were a-ok. But at the top, getting ready for the next rep was ....I am looking for a word only slightly less emphatic than "excruciating". My heart was pounding, and I wanted to heave out my lungs. And my breakfast.

And then I figured if I have to ask that question (should I go for 2 more, or not), then I guess I should. After all, I know how to bail, and what that feels like, so it'll all be ok.

I texted my little self-talk to Jerimiah.... ( I'm sure he loves that...) and ended with what chrystalized for me only as I typed it.

"Seems like now our sessions are a lot more work and a lot less fear."

And that idea has stuck with me all weekend. I have less fear because of the work we have done. A trust in him, in the process, but most of all in myself. I am going to be ok. I can handle this. And I can only work this hard because I've left fear behind. Well, at least a lot if it. And I did have a lot. :).

It's a virtuous cycle.... I can feel it. And I built it.

My husband ends all of his sessions with Jerimiah by saying "I think he's trying to kill me!".     And now I would say the same (tongue in cheek, of course).

We are back to hypertrophy.  10 reps....and my heart felt like it was exploding out of my chest.  And it's not that the speed made it cardio; just... whoa.   153 BPM is a lot for me unless I am doing sprints (bike or treadmill), but I officially achieved that squatting.  I was so sure that it was more like torture than usual that I checked to see if we had done 10 reps before, and indeed, last hypertrophy cycle we did.  A bit less weight, of course, but essentially same deal. 

So at least I know I'll get over it quick, since I could not remember and it was just September.  :)

I am really tired, but my head feels energetic, so that’s good. And I was a bit nauseous after, actually.  And really hungry.    And sitting down is basically just a small bend at the hip and then letting go (as my hamstrings are also rather sore, and don’t really want to be holding any weight in a bend).
 
And yet… still happy.  Go figure.

Tomorrow is the first day back at work in 2017... all of the festivities and extra free time over. Back to routine.

I almost hesitate to use that word. Routine sounds so ...routine. Hum-drum. In a rut. Same-old. It just sounds so unintentional.

And I don't think of it that way at all. As I prep lunch, planned for work and the gym, it's all very intentional. I'm not just going along with the flow, but taking charge of what I do with deliberate action towards concrete goals.

So yeah, back to routine. But don't get the impression I am just floating about with no special reason. See what Google tells me above/left? Let's call this one a noun.