We tested squats and deads today. Did squat testing Saturday too, but we shall not discuss it.
Anyway: Jerimiah let me try his knee sleeves. And it felt really good. 155# squat, but here's the good part: TO DEPTH!!! Needless to say: I just bought a pair. And deadlift: 185#. Add that up to Bench from a week ago, and we are at 450#. 52# off his BAM (bare-ass-minimum) for the July 9th meet. You'll notice I switched from we/our to HIS on that one. I think he has a bit of over optimism there. Anyway.... it's closer than I thought I'd be by now, so... maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle, as usual. Testing again Wednesday, and then I travel and am gymless for 2 weeks!
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Yesterday we tested bench and squats. A difficult 105# and a failed 135#. I can't get depth. Anyway, the real point is that while I can't be happy about the outcome....I was happy. Just... Happy. Endorphins. Knowing I did something for me. Whatever. But the result was not just because of the result (if you follow).
Anyway, then we went to move my mom into the retirement home. The results, at least to our target, were good. She's set up. And yet we had a really horrible day. Feeling all of the feels ... And they all seem illogical. But they aren't. My "why" for the retirement home set up is the desire to see my mom happy and safe. And while we did the tasks, the "why" is open. Safe, but not happy. It will come, tho. My "why" for lifting is not just to lift heavy shit. That's the task equivalent. The "why" is to challenge myself, push my boundaries, learn more about how I work , invest in my well-being and to demand progress of myself. So you can't judge success by checking off the tasks. And if you try, you'll may be left thinking that you should feel differently than you do .....to have accomplished what you planned but remain unsatisfied. And that would be the saddest success of all. I did my first session of programming towards meet prep lat night. It was intense. I thought I'd already been working hard, but this was a new level....
And I feel good. The targets we set forb the meet seem high, but with an apparent plan for increased intensity.... suddenly it feels less scary. We also talked about making weight. I am about 15 overweight yet. I am not aiming for super-lean, but around 27% body fat would be good. I'm not trending down fast enough, but Jerimiah figures with the increased intensity, I'll see better traction there as well. We'll keep an eye on that over the next few weeks and see if we have to modify the caloric balance. They say a calorie is a calorie. I can't say that really makes sense to me from at least some perspectives. Maybe if it's about weight loss? But I still figure your body handles all sorts of different calories in very different ways. And some calories come with a wealth of other "good stuff ". So with that in mind, here is the first swap I making as I head towards my first meet. Two or three times a week I used to have 7 of these (very delicious, crunchy) chocolate eggs before the gym to give myself a bit of energy. It was one of the things where I was still focusing on the experience vs the fuel, if I'm honest. Anyway, that's the (caloric) equivalent of 3 of these figs, which I'll now have instead. Although perhaps I should ask Garth to bring the rest of the eggs into work, just keep them out of my reach. :) |
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April 2021
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