Blech. I feel crappy. A little weepy even. I have just tired myself out.
Granted, I have been pushing a lot of work on the tattoo (my artist is moving, so time is of the essense....) and I would say that the amount of time I have put in over 4 weeks is not exactly what you'd call.... compassionate. So it's not like I don't know where it's coming from. Nevertheless, I have become so used to feeling good that feeling bad just feels.... bad. And since I generally share lots of up-side, I thought I'd share this too. You know, with myself, and my future self. It's not always awesome. But even so, it's still pretty good.
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That's me. Talking to my weight. I have put on a few (ahem) pounds. Nothing major; but since I am still wanting to lose a few pounds (10 to go), ... and because I know I have been less than disciplined, ... it's kinda important to call myself on it.
So ... here I go.... now talking to myself: It's not sneaking up on you. It's not quiet. It's not even an IT. It's YOU, and choices YOU make. And I applaud you for having some compassion and enjoying that pizza. And that wine. And The Keg table bread and butter (all of it). And the midway at the CNE. But don't let that be the new habit. Compassion... and Control. In balance. Not one or the other. I restarted the clock on MyFitnessPal today: and will track from here, fresh. No baggage for the better or the worse. Now, I'll go eat some blueberries! I feel a bit off today. Just minda .... meh.
I gymed on my own on Saturday (did with J on the Friday), and it was less than stellar. I struggled and only did 1 squat before opting to .... not. Then I did some AMRAP arm stuff that I have done WAY more reps of before. Sunday was listless. Not bad. Just kinda um, another word for listless, please? And today: a bit the same. Melancholy. I trained, and it was good, but still feel kinda weary. I have felt SO good for SO long, that it's a bit unsettling, actually. Maybe I need a bit of a napping weekend, or something. On the PLUS,... i have Wednesday off as a planned recovery to a (Korn) concert. So maybe a big sleep in and 2 naps will do the trick. Stand by.... Had a crappy day in the gym. I was PT-less but should have been ok. The target was set in a text the night before.... I checked video of what felt like ass-to-grass 135#.... And it was barely parallel. I worked up anyway . 140 and 145 were about the same. I finished with the triples and consoled myself that while my depth wasn't cutting it, that I had done the work and it would at least contribute to improvement. I told JW the same. He wanted to know why I had not backed off on the weight and focused on depth. :( And its cause I didn't have depth anyway.... Oops. No. No I did not. And we had talked about it. Argh!
So if I feel good tomorrow.... I'll go in and just do something light... But hang out at the bottom. Like me told too. And that is why I still need a PT. |
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