I have quoted Seth Godin (his blog, more specifically) hundreds of times, but none more than this: I've probably already referenced it in my blog. Sometimes, I am quoting it to try to encourage others to MOVE ALREADY! And sometimes, I have to speak it inwardly to do the same. This time it's a bit different... it's the convergence of two things. ONE is this. Last year I set some goals, and posted them here. Suffice it to say... it's the end of Q1 soon, and I didn't get there. But I did get a lot closer, and while I have this lingering disappointment, I can also remember when setting these targets that they were do-able, but very hard. And yet here I sit, pretty darn close to being able to pull off the squat and bench numbers. TWO: is this: I registered for my next meet. So I haven't reached my goals for Q1, but I registered for a meet anyway. WHAT GIVES?! Well, frankly... I'm perfect. Perfectly ready. Perfect enough. Not enough to win. Not enough to qualify for anything. But that's not why I went last time, and I LOVED IT. And while there is a little part of me that cries at the thought of being at the bottom, I'm not going to let that stop me from taking hold of the experience. And if I won't let anyone else steal the joy and magic of this discipline from me, I certainly won't do it to myself. Therefore, no matter what my numbers are; I am perfectly ready.
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I watched a new buddy hit PRs at the gym today. Well, I watched the video. Nowadays I think that's nearly the same, right? Anyway, it's pretty amazing. It's a bunch of stuff. It's all of the work and commitment it takes to get the groove. It's the headspace you have to find to even try those big numbers.... And yet despite the obstacles ....the numbers are there for the record. Not an opinion, or a "like" or a pat on the back. Which I am sure will also be offered in spades. But something even better. Even if there weren't the video evidence, this moment is another reminder....proof, even, the body is an amazing machine and it can accomplish magic when given a chance. As I mentioned in the last post, we're into more volume. Not what most would call high reps (10) but definitely not what I do most of the time. I really noticed the fatigue when training by myself today. While I felt good going in, my performance was not so hot.
Anyway....We do it again this week. And "We'll try for 12 if we can. But it's ok if we can't." ~Jerimiah And after, I was thinking...how do I know if I can or can't? With the high intensity stuff, it's easy enough to tell. Oversimplifying, but either the weight is going to move, or it's not. But squatting for 10 this past week never felt like I could not drive the weight up. Legs and glutes etc were a-ok. But at the top, getting ready for the next rep was ....I am looking for a word only slightly less emphatic than "excruciating". My heart was pounding, and I wanted to heave out my lungs. And my breakfast. And then I figured if I have to ask that question (should I go for 2 more, or not), then I guess I should. After all, I know how to bail, and what that feels like, so it'll all be ok. I texted my little self-talk to Jerimiah.... ( I'm sure he loves that...) and ended with what chrystalized for me only as I typed it. "Seems like now our sessions are a lot more work and a lot less fear." And that idea has stuck with me all weekend. I have less fear because of the work we have done. A trust in him, in the process, but most of all in myself. I am going to be ok. I can handle this. And I can only work this hard because I've left fear behind. Well, at least a lot if it. And I did have a lot. :). It's a virtuous cycle.... I can feel it. And I built it. Tomorrow is the first day back at work in 2017... all of the festivities and extra free time over. Back to routine. I almost hesitate to use that word. Routine sounds so ...routine. Hum-drum. In a rut. Same-old. It just sounds so unintentional. And I don't think of it that way at all. As I prep lunch, planned for work and the gym, it's all very intentional. I'm not just going along with the flow, but taking charge of what I do with deliberate action towards concrete goals. So yeah, back to routine. But don't get the impression I am just floating about with no special reason. See what Google tells me above/left? Let's call this one a noun. A nice little "accessories" workout to finish 2016. I'm gonna get me some pretty shoulders. :) As I was putting the workout in Liftium (app) I got a nice little smile from myself on Decembers consistency. When asked (usually the question is "Do you go to the gym every day?"), I tell people I hit the gym 6 days a week. And looking at December... seems about right or at least close. But wait! I did 21 of 31 days. That's 67% (I'll spare you the decimals but rest assured I checked). If you pace that against a 7 day week...it's NOT EVEN 5 a week. I'm not complaining. It's just a little reminder to at least sometimes consider quantifying from fact vs feeling. If you are going to believe a number.....get it from somewhere. See last post. Repeat. Crapped out on 205# deadlift making this officially NOT better than anything I have ever done before. Ruminated a bit. It's weird, because I have spent quite a bit of the last few months wanting to try for best single... to see what was really possible (vs theorhitcally RPE Xreps blah blah blah) and looking forward to test week. And now that it's here I hatee that it guarantees failure. That's the whole point, after all. And I am not that good at dealing, it turns out. I am not entirely sure if I'd feel the same if I squeezed out more, or it's just hitting a limit that's a bummer. ie:
Now I have a new reason to want to hit good numbers on the real testing day tomorrow. I want a good.... everything. Something worth celebrating. And then to see how I feel. Just so I know which of the 2 above it is . Oh, who am I kidding? I just want better numbers. Period. It's not a social experiment. It's not noble. Just gimme a fucking material PR already!!! So-so feels at the gym today. I thought we were testing, but we are still working up. Kept missing on depth on the squats. Despite being heavy, it felt good. Just not deep enough. And failed out at bench. But it was at 115# so I suppose as we get closer to the top, I'm more likely to crap out. I'll try to remember how I felt HERE, and that this is my week of putting it all out it there. In July I had my first Powerlifting meet: and had a 90Kg Deadlift, which was by far a personal best. 198#, plus a bit. And since then, I've been sticking with the programming, and have not been up to even 185# (my previous gym PR) until just a few weeks ago. It felt good to hit that 185#, but it was not exactly *new*. Today I pulled 200#. And I am thrilled about it. Its only marginally more than my previous best, and that took 5 months to gain. And I am not known for my patience. There is just something magic about this sport. I have my whole life to create progress. Bees make only 45 grams (based on my calculations and some wiki-work) in their life. A lifes work, and it's over in a slice of bread. But they make alot of other things too, while they make that honey. Honey is just the most apparent evidence: The in-your-face proof. 1.6# is my 45bee-grams. And I'll take every sweet drop. I'm no social scientist. So if you want to read about Maslow's hierarchy of needs try Wikipedia. But there was an interesting reference to it in a book I am reading for work. I'll spare the back reference (but the book is called "Beyond Engagement" - Brady G. Wilson, if you are interested...)... but it quotes someone who ran the Boston Marathon as saying;
"After I ran the Boston Marathon, I had no motivation whatsoever. My diet and my training schedule went to pot. I need to set another goal for myself before I fall apart." Oh, Snap. ....And I do kinda remember that feeling after the London meet in July. I have continued training, but I know for sure that it's a slightly different feeling than training towards prep for a meet. Which is OK. I think actually that may be one of the things that makes Powerlifting the sport for me. There is ALWAYS a goal. Because it's not a specific event at which you measure your progress.... well, of course it IS, if you go to a meet, but also... it's not. Every few months you cycle through the program and BOOM! PR baby! I found my magic. My girlfriends is yoga. I can imagine that it might be much the same. My goal tomorrow: Just one squat at a time. Just one more. My goal for January - test and new PRs for all 3 (Squat, Benchpress and Deadlift). And then we'll set them again, AND schedule a meet! I know it's called a "Meet" because people... well, they MEET. But I am going to think of it as just the place you meet your goals. There were quite a few powerlifting posts in my Instagram feed this weekend. And I noticed that it was not the biggest lifts that were the most amazing.... but it was the ones that were a surprise. Not the monster (affectionately!) who squatted well over 700#, but rather the lifter who looked like a 'regular dude' (or dudette) and still pulled, or pushed a relatively big number. That 'wow, I didn't expect that' moment is pretty sweet. I again realize we are so, so much more than what you can see.
I know that for some people, seeing the biggest dudes do the crazy lifts is the only thing that charges them up. But for me, I like the element of surprise..... |
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